I Won

I write because I cannot speak what I want to say. My mouth fails me. It always has. Away with words!

I write for all the times I was told to shut up. I write for all the words I wanted to say and was shushed or interrupted before I got them out.

So, I win. I write.

I write because all I wanted was a moment to tell her, “Thank you. I love you. You changed my life,” but was told, “No. You’ll only upset her.”

I write for every promise broken, privacy violated, and innocent trust trampled. I write for all the times I fell for it and for all the times I never will again.

I’m free. I win. I write.

I write because he said he wanted me to succeed in spite of him. What choice did I have?

I write for the little girl whose written words, her precious feelings, her innocent hopes and dreams and questions were thrown carelessly in her face.

I write for the words that were questioned, admonished, corrected, punished, suppressed, rejected, and smirked at.

I write for the coals of burning hot shame that were heaped on me when instead, someone could have helped me to understand.

I write for all the words I stammered and stuttered over.

I write for all the words I burned before someone else could read them. My words, up in smoke.

I write for my pain, for my joy, for my anger, for my faith, and for the things I believe in the most.

I write the truth. I write words of love and grace.

I write for my fury at injustice and selfishness and abuse. I write out of desperation to save the lives of babies.

I write because I am a storyteller and I’m a good one. I write because if you can make people laugh, and make people cry, then you can make people listen.

I write because I have kingdom work to do.

I write because I am finally safe.

I write because no one can shut me down.

I write because I’m free. You can stop reading because you’re free. But, the words are already on paper. You could burn the paper. That’s okay. The words have already gotten out. I bravely sent them out into the world. I did it already. They're free.

I win. I write.

The words in my mouth can be violently silenced, destroyed, interrupted, forgotten, spoken over, muffled, and muzzled. But with a pen, or a keyboard, or a finger in the sand, my words are set free.

You can’t get to them.

Too late.

I write.

I won.

#writing #write